Run, Lola, Run!

Jason’s cousin just got married. She’s 17 and belongs to the Christian Fellowship church. Here’s a recap from one of the wedding guests:

It started out fairly normal, then the pastor started talking about their “love bank” and how they had to make more deposits than withdrawals, etc, etc. member FDIC. That was a little strange and boring.

Then he started talking about how they each had 5 duties. (I was still partially asleep from the love bank speech.) The only one of the groom’s I can remember was that he had to provide financial support for her. Then, he proceeded to tell the bride what her 5 duties were. They are as follows:

1. Must sexually satisfy her man
2. Must remain attractive
3. Must provide family (i.e., be a good breeder)
4. Must adopt his likes, dislikes and interests, and support him emotionally
5. Must keep a supportive/clean & tidy home (i.e., doing the dishes immediately after dinner)

I wish I’d been there so I could’ve made a proper ruckus during the “if anyone knows any reason why these two shouldn’t be joined…” part.